


I Wanna Dance With Somebody

by orphan_account



Category: The Last Leg RPF
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Yuletide Treat, dance lessons, sequins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 20:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13131336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Adam has decided that Jonnie's outfits on Strictly Come Dancing need improvement, and by improvement, he means sequins. So naturally, it's up to Josh to keep Jonnie distracted long enough.





	I Wanna Dance With Somebody

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paranoidangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranoidangel/gifts).



“This is a terrible idea,” Josh said, as he followed Adam down the hallway of the BBC studio where Strictly would be recorded in two hours. “They’re gonna kick us out. They’ll spot us, realise we’re not supposed to be here, and kick us out.”

Adam peered around the corner. If it weren’t for the fact that he had slung three boas – all in fetching, different shades of pink – over one shoulder and was carrying a canvas bag filled with sparkly fabric, he’d almost look suave.

Josh was sure that in Adam’s head, he was looking more suave than James Bond. “Adam? Didn’t you hear me?”

Without turning his head, Adam gestured for him to be quiet. “This,” Adam said, still peering around the corner, “is a great idea. They won’t spot us, and even they do, how are they supposed to know we’re not supposed to be here?”

“Your bag has the Channel 4 logo on it!”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna buy a new bag for this, was I?”

Josh took a deep breath. “Look, why don’t we just walk out and go down to the pub?” he asked.

“No,” Adam said firmly, turning to look at Josh. “No, Josh. We’ve been over this. It’s been four weeks. Jonnie needs to start wearing some bloody sequins. It’s Strictly. Isn’t that the point of Strictly?”

“I think _dancing_ is the point of Strictly.”

Adam snorted at that. “Sure, mate. Look, don’t you want Jonnie to win?”

“Sure, of course,” Josh replied. “Which is why we should leave, instead of carrying out your ridiculous plan to spruce up his outfit.”

“It’s not a ridiculous plan! It’s a great plan! His outfits so far have been boring, and he’s never gonna win Strictly like that. No, he needs sequins, and some feathers, and lucky for him, I know how to use a glue gun.”

Josh eyed the bag Adam was carrying. “Do I have to be in the same room as you and a glue gun?” he asked, taking a step back.

“No! No, that’s the brilliance of my plan. You’re the distraction,” Adam told him, then peered around the corner again. “You go to his dressing room, lure him out, then I sneak in and tada, he has an outfit worthy of Strictly. Shouldn’t take me more than five, ten minutes.”

“Why do _I_ have to be the one to lure him out?” Josh asked, who took another step back. Maybe if he kept Adam talking long enough, he’d be able to simply walk out of the studio.

Adam snorted again. “How many times have you watched Indiana Peacock by now?” He raised an eyebrow.

Josh opened his mouth, then closed it, then folded his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It wasn’t like he had watched the clip of Jonnie and Oti dancing to the Indiana Jones theme that often. Certainly not often enough to know exactly where in the clip were the good shots of Jonnie’s arse in those trousers.

Adam smiled. “Y’know, he might still have that whip around.”  

Josh spluttered. “I don’t – I’m not distracting him!” He hadn’t been thinking about the whip either. Adam just kept smiling at him, and eventually Josh sighed. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great! I only need ten minutes,” Adam told him, patting his bag. “Go raid his lost ark.”

Josh closed his eyes for a moment. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Good luck entering his temple of doom?”

Josh opened his eyes to glare at Adam. “That’s worse.”

*

He felt nervous as he knocked on the door to Jonnie’s dressing room, and was sure Jonnie would immediately know something was up just looking at him.

Jonnie, dressed casually in sweatpants and a loose grey shirt, grinned as he opened the door. “Josh! I was wondering if you’d visit.” He immediately pulled Josh into a hug, and patted him on the arse.

Josh clapped him on the back. “Only got one thing on your mind, do you?” he joked.

Jonnie gave him another firm pat. “With you, always. Come in!”

Josh gave him a smile he hoped didn’t look weird or nervous. “Uhm, d’you mind if I don’t?”

Jonnie frowned. “Where do you want to go, then?”

Josh looked at the corner he had just come from. “Somewhere private, but near an emergency exit?”

“An emergency exit?” Jonnie echoed, still frowning.

“Just in case of, y’know, random emergencies,” Josh told him. “Random glue gun-related emergencies. Or completely normal emergencies!”

Jonnie stared at him, then laughed. “Why are you really here, Josh? I have to get ready for the show.” He gestured at a clothing rack in the corner, and the dark suit that was hanging from it. “I have to get changed.”

Josh tried to imagine that suit after Adam had finished with it, and hoped the BBC had a spare suit lying around. “It won’t take long,” he said.

“What won’t take long?”

Josh tried to think quickly. What could he do that would take long enough for Adam to realise he did not, in fact, know how to use a glue gun and sneak back out of Jonnie’s dressing room without anyone spotting him? “A dancing lesson!” he blurted out. “Because me and Alex, well, on the show, we didn’t – we never managed it properly, did we?”

“And I never did get that dance with you,” Jonnie said, nodding as he smiled at Josh. “Yeah, all right. But why not in here? It’s spacious enough.”

“Uhm, no, because someone might walk in and see me, and I’d hate to embarrass myself in front of someone else like that!” The moment he had said it, he knew it sounded like a terrible excuse.

“Right,” Jonnie said, in a tone that made it obvious he knew it was a terrible excuse. “You’d hate that.” He looked at Josh, then nodded. “All right, somewhere private, then. Near an emergency exit.”

*

It turned out to be a tiny room that Josh was sure was actually a maintenance cupboard, but it didn’t matter, because they were away from Jonnie’s dressing room, the emergency exit was right outside, and Jonnie was half a foot away from him.

Josh hadn’t really thought about anything beyond that. He hadn’t really thought Jonnie would come with him in the first place.

“So what did you want to learn?” Jonnie asked. “That dip?”

Josh nodded. “Yes! Yes, I want to learn that dip.”

“All right, so shall I dip you first, so you know what to do, and then you can dip me?” Jonnie asked.

“Is that how Oti taught you?” Josh tried to imagine Jonnie’s dance partner dip him like he had done to her on the show.

Jonnie shrugged, but he glanced away for a moment. “I’m not spilling her secrets like that. Come on, turn around.”

Josh did, all too aware of Jonnie’s body behind him. “So, uhm, should we do the intense look as well?”

“I don’t know,” Jonnie said, right in Josh’s ear, “I think you got that part down already.” He took Josh’s underarm, slid his hand down to Josh’s wrist, and raised his arm. Jonnie pressed his body forward as he did. “Like I said, you’ve got to feel contact.”

“Yeah, no, definitely,” Josh said. “Contact. Very important.” He could see Jonnie’s lips twitching as if he was about to burst out in laughter. “Now what?”

“Now I put your hand back here,” Jonnie said, putting the palm of Josh’s hand against the back of his neck, “and put my other hand on your waist. Get ready for the spin, and I’ll dip you.”

“Never been more ready in my life,” Josh replied, who wasn’t feeling ready at all as Jonnie put his hand on Josh’s waist. Jonnie was still holding his wrist with his other hand, then moved his fingers to take Josh’s hand.

Josh turned towards Jonnie instead of away from him, making Jonnie stumble backwards until the back of his head hit the wall. “Ow!”

“Sorry!” Josh winced as he watched Jonnie rub his head. “Sorry, I was – that didn’t go well, did it.”

Jonnie gave him a smile. “Maybe we should try again? This time, with the intense look.”

“Oh yes,” Josh replied, turning his back to Jonnie. “That’s where we went wrong. Not starting with the intense look.”

Jonnie’s hand was already around Josh’s wrist. “Oti would definitely say that.” He looked at Josh. “Remember what I said about contact?”

“Yeah?” Josh replied, slightly distracted by how nice Jonnie’s eyes were.

“That includes eye contact,” Jonnie said, bringing Josh’s arm up, then taking his hand. He put his other hand on Josh’s waist again, never looking away, and this time, Josh did turn the correct way.

He still didn’t know what to do with his hands, or his upper body, or his feet, but Jonnie did manage to spin him, and he laughed when Jonnie lowered him into a brief dip. “Yes!” he yelled, when Jonnie had him upright again. That was probably the least graceful dip in the history of dancing, but it was a dip.

Jonnie grinned at him. “All it took was some practice.”

“And contact,” Josh told him, still grinning himself.

“The intense look,” Jonnie agreed. “How could I have forgotten?”

“Yeah,” Josh replied, once again distracted by how nice Jonnie’s eyes were.

“Josh?” Jonnie asked, leaning closer.

“Hmm?”

“Did you really lure me in here for a dancing lesson, or was there something else?”

Josh sighed. Maybe it was only fair to tell Jonnie what was going on. He shouldn’t be confronted by whatever Adam had done to his outfit without advance warning. “It was something else,” he admitted. “Jonnie, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Oh, thank God,” Jonnie said, looking relieved. “I was starting to think you never would.”

Josh was about to ask what Jonnie was talking about, when Jonnie pulled him close and kissed him. Josh once again had no idea what to do with his hands, or his upper body, or his feet, but he knew exactly what to do with his mouth.

Jonnie, of course, knew exactly what to do with his hands, because he had them back on Josh’s arse within seconds, and Josh smiled into the kiss when he felt Jonnie fondle his arse. This was going very well.

So of course, that was when the fire alarm went off.

*

“I had nothing to do with that,” Josh said.

“Hm-mm.” Jonnie just stared at Adam, who was talking to one of the Strictly crew members and gesturing with the pink boa he was holding.

“It was definitely not my idea.”

“Hm-mm.”

“He said your outfits were boring.”

“Hm-mm.”

“I thought they were great!”

“Hm-mm.”

“Especially the Indiana Jones one from last week.”

“Hm-mm.”

“Actually, I was wondering, do you still have that whip?”

Jonnie finally looked away from Adam. “Really?”

Josh shrugged, and smiled. “Yeah?”

Jonnie looked at Adam and the crew member again. “I think,” he said, turning to look at Josh, “that the Strictly crew isn’t keeping a close eye on the props right now. Let’s see what we can find.”

And if Josh hummed the Indiana Jones theme under his breath as he followed Jonnie back inside, well, that was his business entirely. 

**Author's Note:**

> To anyone who hasn't, do yourself a favour and look up Jonnie Peacock and Oti Mabuse doing the Paso Doble to the Indiana Jones theme on this year's Strictly Come Dancing. Happy holidays!


End file.
